Love...True Love...
Today I had the pleasure in coordinating a wedding at the church. This was the first wedding I've had in about two years and it proved to be quite chaotic, however it turned out to be a beautiful service and the bride and groom were both thrilled and pleased. (Whew!)
What I noticed today is that there are some consistencies with all weddings...things that are just about always going to happen no matter how much planning is done or nerves are shot. Here's a brief list of what I realized today: (Yes, it's 3:00 am and no, I can't sleep...)
1. Something is going to go wrong. Let me repeat: SOMETHING IS GOING TO GO WRONG. It may be huge, it may be trivial. But something is going to go wrong. A unity candle won't light (S & A), a bridesmaid can't find her shoes (R & C), the scriptural reader loses her bookmark and butterfingers aren't allowing her to find her place (my own parents), or the groom's mother has an allergic reaction to shellfish and shows up five minutes prior to the service (a previous wedding worked with a friend). No matter how much planning is done, something will stray from those plans. And here's the kicker: you can freak out or you can roll with the punches. Either way, it's what you'll remember about your wedding and what you'll be laughing about at the reception (and 30 years down the road). I tell every couple I meet with, "Something is going to go wrong. I want you to know that now. And when it does, we'll handle it as best as possible and we'll know that THAT is what's going to make it YOUR wedding." I usually get a scared look, but after every ceremony they pick out that one (or possibly more) thing and smile and laugh about it.
2. The parents (at least one side, possibly both) are going to be more nervous than the actual bride and groom. Not sure why, possibly because they aren't sure of all the details that have been planned and haven't been informed such...either way, they're freaking out. In my friend, J's, wedding it was the groom's father, Mr. P. Even though he was the PASTOR (and yes, you all know who I'm talking about), I think we rehearsed the night before approximately five times to make sure everyone had it down. This man has done numerous weddings (he's the king of weddings), but wanted it perfect for his own and made sure there was little room for "boo boos". Today's wedding was also the groom's father. About every five minutes I was hunted down and asked the schedule, the status, and any other details he was concerned with (and believe me, there were MANY). And even though it might get a little nerve wracking, you have to remember WHY they're so paranoid...they want everything to go well for their "babies" and have no problem looking like that paranoid parent, as long as everything goes well and their kiddos have a smooth wedding. That's a sacrifice they're absolutely willing to make. 'Cause let's be honest, haven't they already been doing that for the whole time they've been a parent?
3. The flower girl or ring bearer (especially if little...really little) at some point is going to protest or grow completely bored with the whole thing. I always encourage the bride and groom to have a back up plan...two if they can. They almost always look at me with this blank look and I know what they're thinking, "Excuse me? You don't believe the angel we've chosen is going to pull this off beautifully?" Nope. Sure don't. And I'm almost always right. Today's angel (and she really was the cutest thing) was only two and smashed her thumb in a drawer about 30 minutes prior to the service. When I thought that was a deal breaker, she totally showed me up and walked down the aisle (even dropped her petals as she walked!) like a champ. However...about 10 minutes into the ceremony she decided she was quite bored, wanted her mom to hold her (a bridesmaid)...got bored with that...wanted to sit with the bride's mother...got bored with that...and was finally "hooked" by her daddy...who was a champ and entertained her in the back of the sanctuary (which mainly consisted of me making funny faces at them from the cry room).
My own niece just about scared me to death when she was waiting to walk down the aisle and suddenly realized that it wasn't on her agenda to walk down that aisle. My brother "had a chat" with her and reassured her that no one would get her and she ended up doing a beautiful job (go E!).
So remember...if you have a wedding coming up, make sure you have a (few) backup plan(s)...because you never know when that ole' shepherd hook might need to be used.
4. SOMEONE is going to have an "oops" on their lines. Even if their lines are super simple, it's going to happen. My brother (who gave me away) knew his one line was "her family does" and was actually practicing. We get down the aisle, Pastor talks a little, we say we're sure, he asks for D's one line and we hear, "I do." Pastor waits for D to remember. We again hear, "I do." Pastor gives D "the look" and we hear, "I DO....her family does! I'm so sorry!" Those of us that could hear cracked up laughing (which was a nice break from the tears), we reassured D that he'd done a wonderful job, and the show went on. I've seen a few grooms start to repeat the pastor and get a bit tongue tied and just laugh (J & N) Today we had the groom tell the pastor, "Can you repeat that? And slow down?" And for some reason, it's always funny. It's something that can always be laughed at, understood, and loved. And I love that.
5. At least one of the grandparents is going to be worn out before the shin-dig even gets started. And I'll follow up with: thank goodness for soft chairs! It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how much of a trooper they'll try to be, at some point before the guests even begin arriving, they'll grow tired and ask me where they might find a "softer seat". Being that my own granny loves to say, "Let's go sit on something soft," I am always ready for the question and constantly am checking on them to see if they need anything (drink? snack? water? pillow?). I'm not sure if I just love little, old people or what, but I love taking care of them just about as much as I do the bride...maybe a little more. Today's grandma was indeed a trooper but arrived quite early and also grew tired quite early. I kept checking on her and finally pointed her to the softer seats where she quickly claimed herself a spot.
6. Either before or after the ceremony, at least one bridesmaid is going to have sore feet. It's going to happen (which is partly why I wore Hush Puppies in my wedding...yes, I'm that dork, but shut up...my feet NEVER hurt throughout the entire thing!). J's wedding sported absolutely beautiful open-toed heels that I thought were going to break both of my big toes. I still have these shoes (they're just way too pretty to let go) and sometimes put them on in the closet, walk around the bed/bathroom and then have to take them back off. As much as I love them, they hurt. Bad. Today we had a bridesmaid with some seriously tall heels that were a little too big (also called "Minnie-Mousin' it" by myself and my mother) and wore them for the entire two hours before the ceremony...and was almost in tears while walking down the aisle. Not sure why they can't make beautiful shoes that feel like Hush Puppies, but maybe one day...
7. The bride is always beautiful. Whether it's the glow of knowing she's the main attraction or knowing that this is HER day, she's so breathtakingly beautiful no one can refute it. Sometimes they're nervous, but not usually. Whatever her style of dress, it's the perfect one for her and the hairstyle is set to perfection. I remember my friend, J, looked like some place of royalty...a duchess, perhaps. Another friend, a very plain dresser (like me) took Ryan's breath away when she walked the aisle (he actually leaned over and said, "She's SO beautiful, Kelley!" (Which totally made me want to kiss him right there)). And my own mother was also a knockout. She wanted a simple dress and was SO afraid of overdoing it...but totally knocked 'em dead. I'll never forget walking into the sanctuary to take pictures beforehand and my to-be-FIL looking at me and tearing up and telling me, "Oh my gosh. You're so beautiful." Totally blew me away...and made me feel...can't quite explain it. So...no matter the circumstance, every bride is beautiful on her wedding day...it's just one of those fundamental truths...similar to gravity.
8. And finally (I'm sure there's more, but it's 4 am now and maybe my "snore monster" will allow me some sleep) no matter what has gone wrong (because something will!), no matter who fudged their lines (because someone will!), and no matter which act of the circus the flower girl has become ('cause she's already in costume!), after the ceremony, everyone will cry and rejoice at how beautiful it was and love it and cherish every moment of the blessed event. And no matter how stressed the parents were, they'll come over to you and hug you and tell you how wonderful service was. The bridesmaids will go over every detail, the photographer will tell everyone how awesome of a job they did, and the new happy couple will be so ready to get out of there. Happens every time.
What I noticed today is that there are some consistencies with all weddings...things that are just about always going to happen no matter how much planning is done or nerves are shot. Here's a brief list of what I realized today: (Yes, it's 3:00 am and no, I can't sleep...)
1. Something is going to go wrong. Let me repeat: SOMETHING IS GOING TO GO WRONG. It may be huge, it may be trivial. But something is going to go wrong. A unity candle won't light (S & A), a bridesmaid can't find her shoes (R & C), the scriptural reader loses her bookmark and butterfingers aren't allowing her to find her place (my own parents), or the groom's mother has an allergic reaction to shellfish and shows up five minutes prior to the service (a previous wedding worked with a friend). No matter how much planning is done, something will stray from those plans. And here's the kicker: you can freak out or you can roll with the punches. Either way, it's what you'll remember about your wedding and what you'll be laughing about at the reception (and 30 years down the road). I tell every couple I meet with, "Something is going to go wrong. I want you to know that now. And when it does, we'll handle it as best as possible and we'll know that THAT is what's going to make it YOUR wedding." I usually get a scared look, but after every ceremony they pick out that one (or possibly more) thing and smile and laugh about it.
2. The parents (at least one side, possibly both) are going to be more nervous than the actual bride and groom. Not sure why, possibly because they aren't sure of all the details that have been planned and haven't been informed such...either way, they're freaking out. In my friend, J's, wedding it was the groom's father, Mr. P. Even though he was the PASTOR (and yes, you all know who I'm talking about), I think we rehearsed the night before approximately five times to make sure everyone had it down. This man has done numerous weddings (he's the king of weddings), but wanted it perfect for his own and made sure there was little room for "boo boos". Today's wedding was also the groom's father. About every five minutes I was hunted down and asked the schedule, the status, and any other details he was concerned with (and believe me, there were MANY). And even though it might get a little nerve wracking, you have to remember WHY they're so paranoid...they want everything to go well for their "babies" and have no problem looking like that paranoid parent, as long as everything goes well and their kiddos have a smooth wedding. That's a sacrifice they're absolutely willing to make. 'Cause let's be honest, haven't they already been doing that for the whole time they've been a parent?
3. The flower girl or ring bearer (especially if little...really little) at some point is going to protest or grow completely bored with the whole thing. I always encourage the bride and groom to have a back up plan...two if they can. They almost always look at me with this blank look and I know what they're thinking, "Excuse me? You don't believe the angel we've chosen is going to pull this off beautifully?" Nope. Sure don't. And I'm almost always right. Today's angel (and she really was the cutest thing) was only two and smashed her thumb in a drawer about 30 minutes prior to the service. When I thought that was a deal breaker, she totally showed me up and walked down the aisle (even dropped her petals as she walked!) like a champ. However...about 10 minutes into the ceremony she decided she was quite bored, wanted her mom to hold her (a bridesmaid)...got bored with that...wanted to sit with the bride's mother...got bored with that...and was finally "hooked" by her daddy...who was a champ and entertained her in the back of the sanctuary (which mainly consisted of me making funny faces at them from the cry room).
My own niece just about scared me to death when she was waiting to walk down the aisle and suddenly realized that it wasn't on her agenda to walk down that aisle. My brother "had a chat" with her and reassured her that no one would get her and she ended up doing a beautiful job (go E!).
So remember...if you have a wedding coming up, make sure you have a (few) backup plan(s)...because you never know when that ole' shepherd hook might need to be used.
4. SOMEONE is going to have an "oops" on their lines. Even if their lines are super simple, it's going to happen. My brother (who gave me away) knew his one line was "her family does" and was actually practicing. We get down the aisle, Pastor talks a little, we say we're sure, he asks for D's one line and we hear, "I do." Pastor waits for D to remember. We again hear, "I do." Pastor gives D "the look" and we hear, "I DO....her family does! I'm so sorry!" Those of us that could hear cracked up laughing (which was a nice break from the tears), we reassured D that he'd done a wonderful job, and the show went on. I've seen a few grooms start to repeat the pastor and get a bit tongue tied and just laugh (J & N) Today we had the groom tell the pastor, "Can you repeat that? And slow down?" And for some reason, it's always funny. It's something that can always be laughed at, understood, and loved. And I love that.
5. At least one of the grandparents is going to be worn out before the shin-dig even gets started. And I'll follow up with: thank goodness for soft chairs! It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how much of a trooper they'll try to be, at some point before the guests even begin arriving, they'll grow tired and ask me where they might find a "softer seat". Being that my own granny loves to say, "Let's go sit on something soft," I am always ready for the question and constantly am checking on them to see if they need anything (drink? snack? water? pillow?). I'm not sure if I just love little, old people or what, but I love taking care of them just about as much as I do the bride...maybe a little more. Today's grandma was indeed a trooper but arrived quite early and also grew tired quite early. I kept checking on her and finally pointed her to the softer seats where she quickly claimed herself a spot.
6. Either before or after the ceremony, at least one bridesmaid is going to have sore feet. It's going to happen (which is partly why I wore Hush Puppies in my wedding...yes, I'm that dork, but shut up...my feet NEVER hurt throughout the entire thing!). J's wedding sported absolutely beautiful open-toed heels that I thought were going to break both of my big toes. I still have these shoes (they're just way too pretty to let go) and sometimes put them on in the closet, walk around the bed/bathroom and then have to take them back off. As much as I love them, they hurt. Bad. Today we had a bridesmaid with some seriously tall heels that were a little too big (also called "Minnie-Mousin' it" by myself and my mother) and wore them for the entire two hours before the ceremony...and was almost in tears while walking down the aisle. Not sure why they can't make beautiful shoes that feel like Hush Puppies, but maybe one day...
7. The bride is always beautiful. Whether it's the glow of knowing she's the main attraction or knowing that this is HER day, she's so breathtakingly beautiful no one can refute it. Sometimes they're nervous, but not usually. Whatever her style of dress, it's the perfect one for her and the hairstyle is set to perfection. I remember my friend, J, looked like some place of royalty...a duchess, perhaps. Another friend, a very plain dresser (like me) took Ryan's breath away when she walked the aisle (he actually leaned over and said, "She's SO beautiful, Kelley!" (Which totally made me want to kiss him right there)). And my own mother was also a knockout. She wanted a simple dress and was SO afraid of overdoing it...but totally knocked 'em dead. I'll never forget walking into the sanctuary to take pictures beforehand and my to-be-FIL looking at me and tearing up and telling me, "Oh my gosh. You're so beautiful." Totally blew me away...and made me feel...can't quite explain it. So...no matter the circumstance, every bride is beautiful on her wedding day...it's just one of those fundamental truths...similar to gravity.
8. And finally (I'm sure there's more, but it's 4 am now and maybe my "snore monster" will allow me some sleep) no matter what has gone wrong (because something will!), no matter who fudged their lines (because someone will!), and no matter which act of the circus the flower girl has become ('cause she's already in costume!), after the ceremony, everyone will cry and rejoice at how beautiful it was and love it and cherish every moment of the blessed event. And no matter how stressed the parents were, they'll come over to you and hug you and tell you how wonderful service was. The bridesmaids will go over every detail, the photographer will tell everyone how awesome of a job they did, and the new happy couple will be so ready to get out of there. Happens every time.
Comments