Strictly Strength=Strictly Sore
I’m constantly seeing my manager as I’m leaving the gym on base. As I’m leaving, she’s heading to a class. (I say always but I really mean often…work with me.) Anyway, I finally decided to join her in one of these classes. I emailed her Wednesday about the time for the Thursday class. She replied that it was from 4 to 5 and she would see me there. So…Thursday I got off work at 2:30 and headed to the gym. I walked on the treadmill for an hour and 15 minutes (go me!) and then headed to look for her so we could go to the class. I HATE going to this kind of stuff…it’s like it’s a clique or something…same thing with walking in a music store…everyone looks at you like you don’t belong in their world. So I head to the locker room to put up my book and see if she’s in there; she’s not. That’s okay, she probably already changed and is in there looking for me…I’m actually cutting it pretty close to 4:00 since my book was SO STINKIN’ good and I couldn’t put it down.
I quickly head to the “room” and enter with seriously cold feet. Upon my entering I see a younger girl/lady (I’m guessing somewhere close to my age) and two other ladies probably somewhere in their forties or fifties. I don’t see my manager and inwardly groan. This is PRECISELY the reason I don’t commit to these things…I always get stood up. I walk over to meet the teacher and introduce myself. Her name is Lorena and she asks if I’m new to the gym (‘cause I look it, I’m guessing?)…I tell her I’ve been here a while but have never attended a class…she understands and suggests that I stick with the lightest hand weights and go ahead and get a heavier set, but she’ll let me know when to use them. Great. Lovely. Can’t wait.
I continue to wait for my manager…translated, this means that every time a new comer walks in I look for her and inwardly moan when I realize that she really isn’t coming. Finally, Lorena puts on her headset microphone and turns on the music. Thus begins the torture.
We begin with some simple warm ups with rolling our shoulders, bending our knees, and some other simple exercises…exercises that I’ve since blocked out because they in no way compare to what I’m about endure. Soon after, we begin the lunges. Let me state right now, I HATE LUNGES. Always have, always will. HATE ‘EM. Lorena has us do lunges from the back of the room to the front of the room 18-thousand times. She explains to us the need to not push with our back leg, to keep our backs straight and not lean forward, and to take super big steps for our lunges so that they’re extra long. Sure. No problem. About mid way through the “lunge portion” a cute Asian lady says, “I got new name fo you! You ’Lunge Lady!’” I start giggling to myself thinking, “I’ve got a new name for her, too…” (don't worry, it wasn't mean...but do know that I wasn't feeling dandy). FINALLY, she tells us we’re done with lunges. At this point I’m so desperate for a drink of water but am afraid that if I bend down to pick up my bottle, my legs might (and probably will) give out and I’ll fall…and that’s a level of embarrassment that I don’t want to visit today…so I suck it up, stand there, and await my instructions.
Next we have to go get these step boxes (I’m assuming used for step aerobics) and a mat and that we need to lay down on them…making sure our heart rate has decreased some before we lay down. I walk over, grab my box, get my mat, check my pulse (on my neck ‘cause I never can find it on my stupid wrist)…see that it’s pumping like NO ONE’S business and think, “Oh screw it…I’m layin’ down.” And it feels great. GREAT. Before I can actually begin to enjoy it, she instructs us to make sure all three sets of our weights (only two for me…AWESOME!) are nearby since we’ll be using them for this session. Oops. Mine are still hanging out by the Spinning bikes. I kinda do this weird “roll over” thing to retrieve them and realize I’m still not close enough. Praying no one sees me, I’ve got my butt straight up in the air trying to reach the stupid weights while trying to stay on the box (‘cause I’m not sure my legs are stable enough yet to stand back up). I finally have to do this semi-crawl thing to actually get them. I’m so glad I couldn’t see myself. So glad.
So we got through the whole workout on the box and finally sit up and stretch. I notice a few people looking at me…what? Do I have something hanging from my nose? Better yet, you wanna get it for me? I look at myself in the mirror and notice that while I’ve got my arms up over my head, I’m totally showing off the biggest arm pit sweat marks obtained in the month of March. Great. Even though I don't, I really want to explain that they’re there because I was working my butt off on the treadmill. So there! Stick that in your back pocket!
Unfortunately, we soon have to stand back up and we commence more working on the arms. By the way, I haven’t yet mentioned Lorena’s arms. Beautiful. I mean…they aren’t stick arms like what I had in high school, they aren’t the “fluffy” arms that I’m sporting now, and they also aren’t the “buff, ruff, and tuff” arms that many “fitness freaks” constantly show off. Her arms are truly something to be envious of. Like seriously, if this class will give me her arms, I’ll be here every time she offers it during the week…no kidding.
Anyway, back to the torture, we work on more parts of the arms and then move on to crunches. Crunches aren’t that bad. I’ve never minded them too much. We do all kinds of sets of these; some that I didn’t even know were possible. We finish these, stand up, stretch out a little bit more, have a quick cool down and we’re done. I put up my box and mat, contemplate telling Lorena that I enjoyed the class, but quickly decide that she probably thinks I won’t be back and then decide to head for the door. I make it to the locker room, grab my towel and flip flops and head for the shower…can’t sit down yet…oh no…might not be able to get back up. After I’m groomed and dressed, I head to the car and am so proud of myself for having made it. And I did. I made it. Sure, I didn’t do the super long lunges, nor did I always push up with my front foot. And no, I didn’t do all the sets exactly in time with the rest of the class nor did I actually do all of the sets…but I made it through the entire class without having to sit there or walk out. I made it. And I’m proud of myself.
However…
I can’t walk normal today. I’m taking a pretty good amount of Advil and am easing into every chair and bracing myself when lowering to the toilet (TMI? This is actually the second time in my life when I really wish we had a handicapped toilet…that extra height is NICE.) I was planning on going back Monday but Ryan said the class is during lunch that day so I’m not sure that will work out…but I’m definitely going back Thursday.
I quickly head to the “room” and enter with seriously cold feet. Upon my entering I see a younger girl/lady (I’m guessing somewhere close to my age) and two other ladies probably somewhere in their forties or fifties. I don’t see my manager and inwardly groan. This is PRECISELY the reason I don’t commit to these things…I always get stood up. I walk over to meet the teacher and introduce myself. Her name is Lorena and she asks if I’m new to the gym (‘cause I look it, I’m guessing?)…I tell her I’ve been here a while but have never attended a class…she understands and suggests that I stick with the lightest hand weights and go ahead and get a heavier set, but she’ll let me know when to use them. Great. Lovely. Can’t wait.
I continue to wait for my manager…translated, this means that every time a new comer walks in I look for her and inwardly moan when I realize that she really isn’t coming. Finally, Lorena puts on her headset microphone and turns on the music. Thus begins the torture.
We begin with some simple warm ups with rolling our shoulders, bending our knees, and some other simple exercises…exercises that I’ve since blocked out because they in no way compare to what I’m about endure. Soon after, we begin the lunges. Let me state right now, I HATE LUNGES. Always have, always will. HATE ‘EM. Lorena has us do lunges from the back of the room to the front of the room 18-thousand times. She explains to us the need to not push with our back leg, to keep our backs straight and not lean forward, and to take super big steps for our lunges so that they’re extra long. Sure. No problem. About mid way through the “lunge portion” a cute Asian lady says, “I got new name fo you! You ’Lunge Lady!’” I start giggling to myself thinking, “I’ve got a new name for her, too…” (don't worry, it wasn't mean...but do know that I wasn't feeling dandy). FINALLY, she tells us we’re done with lunges. At this point I’m so desperate for a drink of water but am afraid that if I bend down to pick up my bottle, my legs might (and probably will) give out and I’ll fall…and that’s a level of embarrassment that I don’t want to visit today…so I suck it up, stand there, and await my instructions.
Next we have to go get these step boxes (I’m assuming used for step aerobics) and a mat and that we need to lay down on them…making sure our heart rate has decreased some before we lay down. I walk over, grab my box, get my mat, check my pulse (on my neck ‘cause I never can find it on my stupid wrist)…see that it’s pumping like NO ONE’S business and think, “Oh screw it…I’m layin’ down.” And it feels great. GREAT. Before I can actually begin to enjoy it, she instructs us to make sure all three sets of our weights (only two for me…AWESOME!) are nearby since we’ll be using them for this session. Oops. Mine are still hanging out by the Spinning bikes. I kinda do this weird “roll over” thing to retrieve them and realize I’m still not close enough. Praying no one sees me, I’ve got my butt straight up in the air trying to reach the stupid weights while trying to stay on the box (‘cause I’m not sure my legs are stable enough yet to stand back up). I finally have to do this semi-crawl thing to actually get them. I’m so glad I couldn’t see myself. So glad.
So we got through the whole workout on the box and finally sit up and stretch. I notice a few people looking at me…what? Do I have something hanging from my nose? Better yet, you wanna get it for me? I look at myself in the mirror and notice that while I’ve got my arms up over my head, I’m totally showing off the biggest arm pit sweat marks obtained in the month of March. Great. Even though I don't, I really want to explain that they’re there because I was working my butt off on the treadmill. So there! Stick that in your back pocket!
Unfortunately, we soon have to stand back up and we commence more working on the arms. By the way, I haven’t yet mentioned Lorena’s arms. Beautiful. I mean…they aren’t stick arms like what I had in high school, they aren’t the “fluffy” arms that I’m sporting now, and they also aren’t the “buff, ruff, and tuff” arms that many “fitness freaks” constantly show off. Her arms are truly something to be envious of. Like seriously, if this class will give me her arms, I’ll be here every time she offers it during the week…no kidding.
Anyway, back to the torture, we work on more parts of the arms and then move on to crunches. Crunches aren’t that bad. I’ve never minded them too much. We do all kinds of sets of these; some that I didn’t even know were possible. We finish these, stand up, stretch out a little bit more, have a quick cool down and we’re done. I put up my box and mat, contemplate telling Lorena that I enjoyed the class, but quickly decide that she probably thinks I won’t be back and then decide to head for the door. I make it to the locker room, grab my towel and flip flops and head for the shower…can’t sit down yet…oh no…might not be able to get back up. After I’m groomed and dressed, I head to the car and am so proud of myself for having made it. And I did. I made it. Sure, I didn’t do the super long lunges, nor did I always push up with my front foot. And no, I didn’t do all the sets exactly in time with the rest of the class nor did I actually do all of the sets…but I made it through the entire class without having to sit there or walk out. I made it. And I’m proud of myself.
However…
I can’t walk normal today. I’m taking a pretty good amount of Advil and am easing into every chair and bracing myself when lowering to the toilet (TMI? This is actually the second time in my life when I really wish we had a handicapped toilet…that extra height is NICE.) I was planning on going back Monday but Ryan said the class is during lunch that day so I’m not sure that will work out…but I’m definitely going back Thursday.
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